It’s me against the herd

Last weekend I found myself alone, standing in front of a bunch of cows and their calves. I’d been left there on purpose to stand guard over a broken gate my father-in-law was fixing. For those of you who have been following my blog posts from the beginning, you’ll know me and momma cows don’t get on so well when they have their babies. They like to charge me. I didn’t have a dog with me this time so it was a little less suicidal on my part, but the moment my husband and father-in-law left the cows started creeping toward me.

The closer they came the faster my heart raced. My husband always tells me if I make myself look bigger by flailing my arms and making noise any cow will turn away, but with the way the one in the front kept snorting as she inched closer I wasn’t buying it. I still managed to stick out my chest and stare the leader down. It was a game of chicken I knew I’d never see to the end. If the cow decided to make a run at me I’d jump the fence. Thankfully my tough act held them off long enough for my husband and father-in-law to return. Man, I really don’t like the calving season. Docile cows become raving lunatics, protecting their youth at all costs.

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It’s just a little bit of bad

My youngest can come up with some pretty crazy excuses for his actions. His latest, if I’m good most of the time it’s okay if I’m bad every once and a while.

Isn’t that wonderful? Too bad he’s still grounded. I know—he can’t believe it either.

Here’s the problem… Which I explained to him and now I’m going to explain to you. (Hopefully, you’ll understand this better than he has so far)

People notice when we’re bad a lot more than when we’re good. Maybe that’s not fair, but that’s life. These bad actions leave imaginary marks on our bodies that often no amount of scrubbing will wash off. People remember, and if the incident was bad enough, they remember for a long, long time. It doesn’t take many bad choices for you to become pigeonholed a troublemaker, a bully, a snot-nosed-brat-nobody-wants-to-play-with—

Sorry, I digress…

Being good may seemed less exciting at times, but nothing closes doors-of-opportunity faster than poor choices. Trust me; you want to keep as many avenues as possible open while in your youth. Only then will you truly be free to choose what you really want to become as you grow older.

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Great news!

It’s official! I signed another book deal. My Rory’s Choice series will not be the last you see of me. I’m super excited and scared all at the same time. With the Rory’s Choice series I had all the books finished before I finally found a publisher, but this new series isn’t finished yet. Talk about upping the pressure to produce new work. I do have a killer vision of where it will go, which excites me beyond words. I want to thank all the readers out there who have supported me in this journey that I’m grateful to know for sure isn’t over just yet.

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Beyond the words

After finishing the Rory’s Choice series I knew I wasn’t done writing, but I worried that my new characters might feel like those in Rory’s Choice. I mean let’s face it, who, what, when, where, why dialogue is pretty much unavoidable in every story.

As I considered the problem I realized I’d already faced this issue throughout my years of stage acting. I can’t tell you how my times I’ve said lines like, “Where did you go? How am I ever going to do that? Why? Why? Why?” Blah, blah, blah, you get the picture.

It wasn’t the words that defined my characters on stage; it was the motivation I created behind them. I could do the same for my characters in my books. By leaning on the core values I create for my characters, those tired old, but necessary, lines get delivered in ways that become distinct for each character.

It’s funny to me that I found another use for all those Method Acting classes I took years ago. But instead of a director asking me, “What’s my motivation?” I’m asking imaginary people in my head. 🙂

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My son is stronger than me

When it comes to sports my oldest son baffles me. He trains hard, never misses practice, yet he doesn’t win all that often. I really don’t want this to come off as cocky, but I never faced this problem growing up. I always won way more than I lost in everything I did. So did my siblings. My brothers were always chosen for the all-star baseball teams. My baby sister made it to nationals for her outstanding individual cheer-leading abilities. So I’m constantly wondering what I should say to him, because quite honestly after this much defeat, I don’t understand why he hasn’t given up. It’s not that I want him to be a quitter. I just want him to be happy. And to me—if I’m not winning, I’m not happy.

After his latest wrestling defeat, the boy was super down. It was his last match of the season. Once again we weren’t going to end a sport season on a high, but a low. As I made my way down the bleachers to where he sat, I kept thinking, what can I possible say that will make him feel better? My husband is always saying you learn from the losses, but all I’m getting from all this losing is a realization that it isn’t any fun. Thankfully, he spoke before I had regurgitate another one of those “all we can do is our best” consolation speeches.

“I’m tired of being the weak link in everything I do,” he said.

I nod thinking, oh here it comes. He’s done with sports altogether.

“I’m gonna lift weights like crazy for the rest of the year so I can come back stronger.”

“Oh! Sounds like a plan.”

Over and over he shocks me. I can’t get my mind around what he could possibly be getting out of all these losses, but he refuses to give up. He may never be the winning kid everybody cheers for, but I’m still proud of him. It takes way more courage to keep going back to any sport when you’re not considered the best and the coaches could care less if you show up.

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My kind of encouragement

Maybe it’s the old cheerleader in me, but I truly believe in the power of encouraging others on. And by encouraging, I’m talking “Go, go, go” shouting. I’ve gone hoarse on more than one occasion for a sporting event, and I don’t even have to be there. I’m just as bad when I’m watching sports on the TV. My very introvert husband just loves this side of me :), but what if that one extra cheer from me will be the difference between a win or a loss for my team.

It’s never a bad thing to encourage each other. Sometimes the strength of someone’s belief in us can give us that extra oomph to keep going, when alone we might have given up. Remember that the next time someone in the stands stares back at you like you’ve lost your mind. I know I always do, ’cause baby I just gotta keep yelling.

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The art of arcs

I love stories with well-designed arcs of plot, when the tiniest of moments at the beginning of a story become the glue and the end that ties it all together. For example in the Disney movie, Tangled, Rapunzel has a dream to see the lanterns. We even find out bad guys have dreams. Dreams, dreams, dreams, it’s a reoccurring theme. At the end, the story is wrapped up in a perfect bow when Eugene, who saves Rapunzel by cutting off her hair says, “You were my new dream” before dying. Mmm…what a delicious arc.

As a writer that’s what I’m attempting to do every day—build threads of plot that will create one massive arc worth sighing over. Some days it’s easier said than done, but I love the process. It’s exciting to see an arc you’ve dreamed up take shape through the thousands of words you’ve typed on a page. Here’s to hoping one day I’ll be able to create an arc just as delicious as Tangled.

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Facing mistakes

No child is perfect. Not even mine. You’d think every parent would fundamentally understand this fact, but I’m amazed at how many don’t. Children are just as human as their imperfect parents. We all make mistakes. One more time…we all make mistakes. But we, as parents, have a responsibility to help our children learn how to work through those mistakes.

I know it can be disappointing, but when you discover your child has done wrong don’t ignore the issue, or blame other people. These are powerful teaching moments. Children who are never taught to take ownership for their mistakes, increase his/her chances of growing up with entitlement issues. These kinds of people tend to be lazy and think the world owes them a living, which in the end, makes them a burden to society.

“But…my Johnny is a good boy.” Some of you might be saying. I’m sure he or she is 99% of the time. Most kids really are good kids, but that doesn’t mean you should give them a pass on the few times they aren’t. Hold them accountable for all their actions. It doesn’t mean you love them less, really you love them more. Accepting guilt, making restitution, saying “I’m sorry”, these are life skills every one of us needs.

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Can’t keep my emotions to myself

I’ve never had much of a poker face. If I’m happy you’ll see it. If I’m mad you’ll know it—and most likely hear it. My emotions are always on the surface for everyone to see. While I don’t think this trait of mine is necessarily a bad thing, my inability to hide my emotions probably means some career paths should be avoided.

I doubt a psychiatrist who offers up angry outburst or crying spells right along with their client would be very effective. And I’m sure court cases come with lots of frustrations. Now imagine my emotional-self as the lawyer fighting your case. Yeah…it’s okay, I’d probably fire me too.

This isn’t the reason I chose to be a writer, but it’s definitely a perk. When I’m blubbering in the middle of a painful scene, or stomping mad at the injustice I created, nobody has to suffer my weirdo tendencies but the four walls I’m holed up inside. Oh, and my family, but they’re kind of stuck with me.

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Between the lines: Book two’s ending

I’ll admit the ending in my second book of the Rory Choice series was a cruel way to leave Rory and the reader. But life isn’t always happy, and I knew that losing both Jake and Duke would be the biggest catalyst-of-change for our ever maturing Rory. Stopping the story in the middle of pain gives the reader time to marinade the possible courses Rory’s life will take, and let’s face it, still hoping the story will somehow end up happy.

As to the direction of Rory’s life, you’ll have to wait until book three comes out in fall 2016, but let me assure you, I’m probably the biggest sap you’ll ever meet. I wouldn’t have been satisfied with anything less than a happy ending. I hope it’s an ending that you will find just as satisfying.

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