Do you speak teenager? I thought I had a good grasp on the lingo. After this week I’ve decided it’s impossible to know for sure. The only constant seems to be me—I can’t do anything right. Cheering for them is an embarrassment. If my face does anything but smile, I’m being too hard. So, I try doing nothing at all. Nope, now they think I’m angry. Ugh, I think staying away might be the only solution.

“But Mom!” says the teenager. “I want you to be there.”

Okay…it must be the joy in torturing me they find so enthralling. But guess what teenager? I’m not going anywhere no matter how crazy you make me. One day I’ll have my revenge. You’ll have children of your own.