Janelle Evans

Friends—they’re something we all need.  They help buoy us up in times of trial.  They make us laugh with their inside jokes and running gags.  They are the people you can share your deepest secrets and feelings with.  Yes, everyone needs a friend.

Yet, almost from the moment we enter kindergarten, we begin separating into groups.  Now the groups are not necessarily bad.  It’s when you start excluding others from the group.

You may not be shutting out other peers on purpose.  Sometimes we are so self-involved we fail to see those lonely people wandering past us.  Open your eyes and your heart, try harder to be aware of those around you.  Alone is such difficult thing to be, and yet it is so easy to fix.  Befriend all you meet and you’ll never have a shortage of supporters when you need them.

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Me?  I wanted to be an actor—a big bright star, entertaining the world.  Here I am years later, obviously not what I thought I’d be.  Does that make me a failure?  Of course not.

When we’re young it’s impossible to see how the years ahead will change us.  How the choices we make will divert our paths from the ones we originally wanted.  Even now, with the advantage of looking back through my life, the changes in me were so slow and subtle it’s hard to pick a single event that made it happen.

My advice—keep an open mind as you grow up.  Life has a way of showing you things about yourself you may have not considered, just like it did for me.  It’s not like you’ll become something you’ll hate.  There are still remnants of the little girl I once was inside.  I sing and dance every opportunity I get, but I have found so much joy in writing I don’t mind that I’m not the big bright star I’d thought I’d be.  I’ll entertain you with my words instead.

I met a young girl this week working in Walmart.  While she rang up my purchases, she talked like every friendly cashier does.

“This is my first job,” she told me, then chuckled.  “But I might need to find another one as well.  I burned through my first paycheck in two days.  I really need to learn how to budget.”

I wasn’t sure if this shocking information was said to pass the time or if she wanted advice, so I tested the waters.  “Are you asking for advice?”

She shrugged and kept bagging.  “Yeah, I guess.  I don’t want to make the same mistake with my next paycheck.”

The advice I offered her I’m giving to you in hopes you’ll be wiser from the moment you begin your first job.  And even if you’ve stared working listen up.

First, Save.  Pay yourself with every paycheck.  10% is a good place to start, but the more you can stash away the better prepared you’ll be for the incidentals of life.  And I mean crisis kind of incidentals, coming across a new pair of shoes if yours are just fine is not a crisis.  Try not to dip into that savings unless you absolutely have to.

Second, prepare.  Things like Christmas, vacations, car registrations can be big-ticket items, but if you plan on certain amounts and set funds aside per paycheck you won’t make the mistake of using credit to pay for these things.

Third, stick to your budget.  If there’s only enough for $60 of groceries each week, don’t go over—go without.  There are lots of groceries items you don’t need, like pop, and crackers & snacks, candy.  Buy items like these only when you have the funds to do so.

Fourth, understand the difference between a want and a need.  This is the one area where self-control is crucial and will be your saving grace if you’ll keep it reined in.  If your life does not depend on it to survive, it’s a want (Example: shoes, haircuts.  Even cell phones and vehicles can fall into this category if you already have one, but feel you have to run out a buy the latest version every other year.)

If not having it could possibly kill you, it’s a need. (Example: utilities, food, shelter)  Budget and pay for all your needs first, then sprinkle in a few wants so life won’t feel too unbearable, but I would advise very sparingly.

This might sound like a fortune cookie, but you must either learn to master your money or it will master you.  More money isn’t the answer.  Always live well within your means and you’ll avoid the stresses that come from stretching yourself too financially thin.  Nothing is harder than living paycheck to paycheck, with not a penny to spare.  If you’ll be realistic about your finances, you’ll have a better chance of this not happening to you.