Is it love? (Part 2) Things I wish I would have known when I was fifteen.

On a date, normally everybody puts his or her best face forward, so how can you be sure what you’re seeing is the real thing.  This is where the school scene really comes in handy.  By taking the time to observe potential dates in this setting you can see what they’re really like.  But what should I be looking for you ask?  Well…what’s important to you?  What do you want in a future spouse?  Holy cow! Future spouse, you’re thinking right now.  I thought we were talking about dating.  We are, but you’re not going to marry a stranger you suddenly meet.  You marry who you date.  So if you’re wise, you’ll take a moment and write down specific things you want.    

If dancing is important to you, choosing one of the boys or girls holding up the walls of the school gym during a dance is probably not a good idea.

If you want someone who can serenade you, I hope you’re taking choir, there’s a good chance you’ll find a singer in there.  If you would like to have an instrument involved, you might want a band geek.  (No insult intended.  I married one, though he denies his geeky side.)

Athletic—haunt the sport of choice however you can, i.e. play it, become a manager, or stat taker of some kind.

Brainy types—AP classes.

Future doctors—science classes.

These are all generalizations, but you get the gist of what I’m saying—go to the watering hole of choice to start.  Once there, watch carefully.  You’ll be amazed.  Their actions will tell you so much about who they really are.

Always late to class—Don’t plan on being anywhere on time once married.

Doesn’t do assignments or forgets homework—Hmm, not organized.  Might find it hard to keep a job if they won’t do their work.

Never offers to help in the classroom—Maybe this one doesn’t bother you too much, but let me know how you feel after twenty years of them watching you mow the lawn.

Messy locker—Lack cleaning skills.  If you don’t mind cleaning by yourself everyday, go for it.

Locker bulging with stuff—Think hoarder.  Remember most homes don’t come with more than a three car garage.  If they don’t throw things away, where will you put it all?

Before you put the spy equipment on and start observing, I have one last piece of advice.  And it is by far the most important.  Don’t date or marry anyone thinking you are going to change or save them.  We all have different personalities and behaviors.  If you cannot accept what someone is doing, no matter how cute, funny, or perfect in every other way he or she is, the answer is no.  With time, even little annoyances grow into unbearable miseries.  Choose wisely.

About janelleevans

I'm a sleep deprived mother of three. I create young adult novels from the voices in my head.
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